Hi there, it’s Hillarie! Rewilding Mind is a reflection on my experience leaving modern city living to pursue homesteading. It’s a calming read to help you slow down, be present, and find wonder in the everyday. Read on for ideas on to returning to nature, finding ourselves, and creating community. 💚
Audio Newsletter
Hello friends,
It was a beautiful weekend here in the PNW and we spent ample time outside soaking it in. The lilies behind my Buddha statue finally peeled open to reveal a white leaf with maroon dots at the base of each. I have been anticipating this moment since I dug the bulbs into the ground last Christmas, and I am not disappointed one bit. They bring a burst of life and energy to the little shade garden, and it is such an honor to work with the earth to make something so beautiful come to life.
My time in the garden got postponed to late Sunday evening, but I am just happy it happened at all. By that time, the sun was moving over the hillside and we started to get a nice breeze off of the water. I spent a few hours amending the soil for the garden beds, packing down the walking path, and planting a final round of veggies in the ground. This cool weather has been tough on the gardeners and farmers locally. But I see every plant I set in the ground as a small prayer of hope that we may still have a strong harvest.
Some of the last crops I put in the ground were the makeup of a three sisters garden: beans, corn, and squash. It is a method of companion planting used by native people in North America to take advantage of the natural strengths of each plant. Corn provides structure for the beans to climb so they can seek light. Beans pull nitrogen out of the air to enrich the soil and provide nourishment for other plants. Squash creeps across the ground to help retain moisture in the soil and block weeds.
Beyond the practical reasons of wanting to grown an abundant garden, the three sisters garden is an important story about the the power and sacred bonds of sisterhood. It is a metaphor for the ways sisters provide one another strength, protection, and enrichment. These three sisters show us that diverse and unique strengths can create systems of harmony, cooperative, and care—without compromising the health and welfare future generations.
I have personally stepped into sisterhood in many ways through my life, and every time it has reinforced for me the significance of those relationships. Through birth, friendship, marriage, and an endless string of women-centered leadership organizations, I have experienced the transformative nature of sisterly bonds. These relationships continue to shape the woman I am today. Each encounter reminds me of the importance of making time and space for the magic of sisterhood to unfold.
This story and metaphor is important to me because life events in recent years have shown me that sisterhood is sacred, profound and irreplaceable. I have witnessed the loss (or near loss) of sisters and the devastation it can cause—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The loss of the stories they hold, the memories they keep, the joy the can summon, and the strength they provide is immeasurable.
It started with my big sister who is just 16 months older than me. She is my built-in bff for life. In 2018, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor after experiencing a memory lapse while driving. It was a terrifying situation. After brain surgery, proton therapy treatment, and endless waiting for answers, she regained her heath. A few years later, the thing that sticks with me is how my family circled around her to support her through a difficult season of life. It’s been incredible to witness her find a new kind of strength through adversity and to recently watch her step into motherhood.
This experience forced me to grapple with the pain and heartbreak that is losing a sister, and thus, losing a part of me. Sisters are the keepers of our stories. They help us to remember who are and where we come from. They know the struggles of girlhood and womanhood in a deep, painful ways. They witness, honor, and heal pain. They know all the inside jokes, trigger words, and embarrassing moments. They keep us in check with their truth and love. They dry our tears and help us up to fight another day.
My sister is the one person on this earth who knows the depths of my soul and holds all my secrets. She’s the human who made me feel safe and seen trough the terrors of growing up Black in South Dakota. She knows all my imperfections and points of shame, yet she loves me regardless. She also knows exactly how to make me melt into a puddle of laughter—leaving tacky art around my house, speaking bad German loudly in public, and sending random photos of creepy dolls.
Since her diagnosis, I find myself investing my time and energy in sisterhoods that feed my mind, body and soul. Sisterhoods the affirm my life experience without judgement, sympathy or pity. Sisterhoods where food, storytelling, and joy are a central part of the time we spent together. Sisterhoods where we can learn to be better mothers together instead of judging or criticizing. Sisterhoods where we see each other for our full humanity and allow each other grace to grow.
While these seem like lofty goals, my dive into gardening and homesteading has shown me that there are lots of women out there who value and crave these same things. I have exchanged late-night messages with sisters about our dream gardens. I’ve spent hours in fields with them, dreaming up new ways of living in community with each other. I have shed countless tears with them, processing the way this world marginalizes, underestimates, and excludes women, especially Black women.
Just like the three sisters garden, each sisterly bond is unique and allows us to combine our strengths in exciting ways. Our time spent with each other is an exploration into different, forgotten, and unknown parts of ourselves. We get to see ourselves in new ways, express heavy feelings on our hearts, and witness each other through seasons of sickness, health, and abundance. In that way, we are the corn, beans, and squash providing each other the necessary strength, protection, and enrichment to thrive through the uncertainties of life.
Thanks so much for joining me this week. If you feel would like, hit reply and share with me what sisterhood means to you. Take care, be kind, and we'll talk soon.
Hillarie
Sisters in the Garden and Life
Being that I've only been blessed with biological brothers, my sisters have always existed outside the bounds of kinship. In so many ways, they are the strength, protection, and enrichment I crave and lean into as I try to produce my own fruits. Love this illustration so much. <3
Beautiful story of sisterhood and kinship. I was born with an older sister who was taken from me by no fault of her own or the Heavenly Father. So my connection of sisterhood was made with my bestie. We met when we were 8 years old. Now at 64, I cannot imagine my life without her. From the moment we met, because our father’s were friend from their childhood. We have never looked back. Bottom line I wish everyone the miracle of love, kindness, acceptance, honesty, and most of all loyalty we have for each other. With the experiences I have lived, I just wish women would be kinder and more accepting of each other’s journey. I so admire your courage to create a natural and self nurturing life for yourself. 🧘🏽♀️