Hi there, it’s Hillarie! Rewilding Mind is a reflection on nature and how we connect to it. It’s a calming read to help you slow down, be present, and find wonder in the everyday. Read on for ideas on to returning to nature, finding ourselves, and creating community. 💚
Hello friends,
Things are still cool and cloudy here, with a few hours of afternoon sunshine on most days. It’s the endless spring, but we are making do. One plus of the damp weather is the workable ground is giving us more time to weed and plant. We took advantage of the soft soil and spent the weekend clearing a large bed of overgrown grasses. Part of the bed will become a vegetable garden, and part will be dedicated to flowers (eep!!). I am so excited to try my first in-ground bed after learning how to build and tend them with a local farm friend.
After a few days of work, and my body is aching from the hours spent squatting, kneeling, gripping, bending, and pulling in all different directions. The unfamiliar postures left me with an uncomfortable muscle aches, but not a painful like those I had after an intense gym workout. Every time I feel some tightness, I imagine all the potential for the little slice of earth and it’s all worth it.
Sundays are my day in the garden. I leave my house, regardless of the weather, and attend a special kind of church service in nature’s sanctuary. It’s impossible to be late for service, and when I do show up, she asks nothing of me other than my presence. It is a service free of judgement and full of praise and thanks. Once my children are fully preoccupied, I slip outside into the cool air and whisper, take me to church.
I survey my garden beds to decide where church will be held that day. I gather my tools, put on my gloves, and scroll through my Spotify to find Sunday Service Choir. I am not religious and grew up Lutheran, but gospel music has always touched to my soul. I take one deep breath and roll my head gently while my headphones come to life. The first beat drops and I slowly slip into a rhythm with my Japanese hand hoe.
I find a flow working with my tool, methodically parting the grass and scraping just deep enough to pull up the shallow plant roots. It feels like an intimate grooming session with this little patch of earth. I’m reminded of the hours my mother spent parting my coily hair, combing it, and braiding it perfection. Once I get in a rhythm, my mind is freed to slip into the music and join the choir. I sing the words out loud, even if I am not 100% sure I know the words or the notes. Accuracy is not the point; joy is.
The longer I spend sitting in the damp soil and tall grass, the more I am filled with gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity to work this soil. I also realize that I was spending Juneteenth, a day of freedom, doing the same work that my ancestors did for centuries during and prior to their enslavement. They were brought to these shores for their wisdom and deep understanding of how to cultivate the earth. “Freedom” resulted in a severed relationship with the land. Now after centuries of systemic racism, many Black folks cease to have any kind of relationship with the earth.
I have returned to this way of living to reclaim some of that wisdom that my ancestors honed and passed on for generations. I have retuned to find the deep healing, joy, and hope that allowed my ancestors to dream of freedom for themselves and their children. And I have returned to this way of being because there is freedom in knowing how to tend to the land, live from the earth, and be nourished by the earth.
As church winds down, I am physically tired and emotionally refreshed. I have a renewed energy for the week ahead and she has assured me that I have all that I need. The sun breaks through the clouds to deliver a warm embrace from the ancestors. They are beaming with pride and whisper to me, “You’ve done good. That’s enough.” I take one last deep inhale and know my body will feel this tough love for days to come. But all in the name of freedom.
Leave a comment and share: What reflections are you having about freedom and the significance of the holiday?
Thanks for catching up with me this week. Please take care, be kind, and talk soon,
Hillarie