Big Farm Dreams

BGCL Newsletter

Hi there, it’s Hillarie! BGCL Newsletter is all about personal transformation sparked by connecting with nature. Join me on my journey unwinding modern city life to embracing a slower, more intentional life in the country. Read on for ideas on finding ourselves, connecting with nature, and creating community. 💚

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Hey friends,

Sharing my dreams with you all made me realize that the idea of dreams is still somewhat new for me. For most of my life, I thought dreams were for other people— fancy folks. Instead, I had goals that were to be accomplished, albeit lofty ones. I saw my goals as a series of actions, a set of behaviors, or a pattern of routines to be followed. They were no different than months of training I put in to run a half-marathon, having never run a race in my life. Or the hours of memorization and practice committed to slay oration competitions as a young girl.

Knowing I could take actionable steps towards big goals compelled me to ratchet up the intensity of my goals over time. I stumbled through undergrad with mediocre grades, but I realized I could learn difficult things if I put effort into it. Why not get a master’s degree? When I started my career, I was terrified of public speaking but felt a rush whenever I had the chance to do it. Why not become a corporate educator and speak in front of people for a living? On and on it went.

Moving to the country was no exception. Once I started to feel comfortable with this slower way of being, I stepped back to reflect on where this was taking me. I knew I wanted to deepen my knowledge about growing food, build community, and create inclusive spaces for learning and healing. After some time spent reflecting, a goal emerged. However, this time it felt bigger than a singular goal. It felt so lofty and grand that the only word I could use to describe it was dream. I called it my Big Farm Dream.

Crafting the Dream

Last year, in the depths of our wet cold winter, I dug out the vision board my husband and I started years ago—the one that now resembled the life we were living. I was ready to breathe fresh life into this bold dream. I rounded up magazines from around our home that had been integral in helping me adjust to our current life in the country—Hobby Farms, Magnolia, Breathe, Mother Earth News, and more. Stacks on stacks of peaceful farm photos, thoughtful mindfulness illustrations, and instructions for simple living packed into a pile of matte and glossy pages.

For me, this was an opportunity to get more specific about the dream and double down on what a quiet, slow life could look like in a big way. It would be a chance to build on ideas that we had been testing at our current home—vegetable gardening, raising livestock, forest maintenance. But I also wanted to expand the vision to support a new angle: sharing this life with more people who needed to understand the healing power of slow. I flipped through magazine front to back, searching for representations of community building and healing spaces set in the context of slow, quiet country living.

After weeks of careful culling and clipping, a v2 of the slow life began to emerge. It showed a life situated on many acres of Pacific Northwest land, bursting with forest, ferns, and fertile soil for growing. It is centered around a multigenerational barndominium home—a dream I have held onto since living with my in-laws. Beyond the home is space for guest cabins, an educational farm center, music production studio, retreat space, schoolhouse, and more.

Taking in the details, it began to feel borderline impossible. Nonsensical to even wish these things for myself or aspire to such a fantasy. I can hear my inner critic say, “Who do you you think you are?” But then, the danger, audacity, and doubt only made me want this more. Once I paused to listen through the haze of the fear and doubt, I could hear the gentle and encouraging voices of the people I dreamt with for so many years. They stand beside me, looking at the vision, and know that this too is completely possible.

Bringing the Dream to Life

Once the dream was articulated, I just had to sit back and wait, right? Just kidding. This was the start of the deep work required to bring this into fruition—the manifestation of it all. My default in these situations is to burry myself in information (podcasts, audiobooks, physical books) and find a playbook that I could adapt to my journey. Nothing seemed to fit what I was doing or where I was going. I stalled for long stretches of time, wondering what the hell I was doing. I took detours into seemingly random places. But finally a path began to emerge.

Information is great, but action is the only way dreams become reality. With that in mind, I sat myself down at the foothills of this monumental dream and asked what I needed most in order to progress. The answer was swift and unwavering: find your people. Of course. This is not a journey to take alone, even if I could find a way. Community has been at the heart of everything I have pursued in the past, and achieving this dream would be no different.

With that, I set out to find my people, even though I had doubts that such people existed. It was slow at first, but I was determined to find people with grand visions for a future centered around loving community and nourishing food. Can I tell you what I discovered? A vibrant group of women who care deeply about exactly these things and who are generous enough to share the expertise—farming, homesteading, community organizing, and so much more.

Over the last several months, I have literally had to stop to catch my breath because the magic unfolding seemed impossible—the dream was coming to life. I had broken ground on my Big Farm Dream, and even greater possibilities began to emerge with the connections I was making. Spending time building the relationships has been tough, but I know they are all pushing me forward in ways that I do not even realize currently. Surrounded by community, I know that anything is possible.

In the coming months, I will share more about how I found my people and began to forge bonds in a new community. Until the, tell me: What are you currently doing to build community for yourself? You can hit reply to share with me directly or leave a comment on the Substack BGCL community page. 

Thanks for taking time to slow down and be present with me this week. Take care, be kind, and we'll talk soon,

Hillarie